


Portal Schmortle

by bornforwar_archivist



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2006-12-31
Updated: 2006-12-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 06:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11053587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bornforwar_archivist/pseuds/bornforwar_archivist
Summary: By JennyOk, this is the answer to Del's challenge: Must have the following things/characters. Joxer, Jett, Jace, either three naked Gabbies or two naked Gabbies and Gabrielle. Xena, Ares, Cupid. A mysterious portal.  1) Aphrodite forces Ares & Cupid to work together on a spell.  2) By accident they open the 'Mysterious Portal' (tm).  3) At least two of the three naked Gabbies must come out of the portal.  4) Joxer, Jett, & Jace, end up dancing with Gabrielle's  5) An Ares/Xena relationship.





	Portal Schmortle

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Delenn, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Born For War](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Born_For_War), which closed in 2015. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in March 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Born For War collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bornforwar).
> 
> Disclaimer: ok, I don't own the frickin' characters. You don't have to constantly remind me! LOL. 
> 
> Rating: how am I supposed to know? I can't control who reads this story so who cares what the rating is? 
> 
> Feedback: Always welcome.
> 
> Dedications: to Del, who I still consider a huge influence on my writing and me even if we haven't talked much recently. Eris, who I also consider as a big influence. To all of my friends, especially Erica, Lauren, Christine, Rachel, Malcolm, and Max who have always been there for me. And for Kevin Smith who, though he has passed away, is still in my memory, my heart, and hundreds of other people who won't forget him. Also, to all the members of the AA club and the shippers club. And of course, to all A/X fans. 
> 
> Summary: Ok, this is the answer to Del's challenge: 
> 
> Must have the following things/characters. 
> 
> Joxer, Jett, Jace, either three naked Gabbies or two naked Gabbies and Gabrielle. Xena, Ares, Cupid. A mysterious portal. 
> 
> · 1) Aphrodite forces Ares & Cupid to work together on a spell.   
> · 2) By accident they open the 'Mysterious Portal' (tm).   
> · 3) At least two of the three naked Gabbies must come out of the portal.   
> · 4) Joxer, Jett, & Jace, end up dancing with Gabrielle's   
> · 5) An Ares/Xena relationship. 
> 
> Oh yeah, and Xena's a goddess, cuz that just goes with the story. 
> 
> Yeah. Well, on with the story!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" A scream was heard throughout the interior of Mt. Olympus. The gods didn't bother looking up, as it has become a regular occurrence ever since Aphrodite had decided that black wasn't a worthy enough color to be on Olympus. Too bad they didn't go see what was wrong.   
  


***

  
  
"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO AND NO!!!!" Aphrodite cringed, but went on talking. "This spell is gonna be the greatest thing since pink lipstick! Cupie's already agreed, the sweetheart." She looked up into the defiant look on her older brother's face. She put on a puppy dog face. "Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssseeee? Please please please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssssseeeeeee?" "ALRIGHT! GODS! ERIS isn't as annoying as you!" (no offense to you Rissy. Really, no one can be as annoying as you. LOL.) Dite squealed and hugged Ares (who'd you think it was?). "THANK YOU!!! YOU ARE THE BEST BRO EVER!" Ares grumbled. How could he have said yes?! Damn blondes (no offense to blondes, I have nothing against you guys). He's never gonna hear the end of this.   
  


***

  
  
"Are you serious?" Gabrielle stared in disbelief at her best friend. Xena looked at her, amused. "Wow. That's just…surprising." The bard got a dreamy look on her face. "I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. OW!"   
  


***

  
  
Ares glanced nervously at Dite. "Are you sure this is stable? I mean, what if he drops something?" He pointed at Cupid, who put on an upset look on his face. "Hey! I'M not the one who dropped Artemis' bow into the OCEAN!" Ares just shrugged. "How was I supposed to know it wasn't water-proof?" Aphrodite groaned as the two argued. How was she EVER gonna get them to work together?   
  


***

  
  
"Joxer the Mighty, he roams through the countryside. He never needs a place to hide, with Gabby as his sidekick, fighting with her little stick. Righting wrongs, and singing soooooongs. Being mighty all day long, he's Joxer! Joxer the MIGHTY!" High-pitched singing rang throughout the forest. "Joxer the Mighty, he's very tidy. Everyone admires him, he's so handsome it's a sin." Humming continued, chasing away all the animals in the forest. Joxer walked on, unaware of the commotion he was causing. He walked to the edge of the forest, reaching the road. A caravan was heading his way. "JOXER DARLING! How VONDERFUL TO SEE YOU AGAIN! COME HERE COME HERE!" A person, identical to Joxer, with a Spanish-accent, dressed in flashy, colorful, attention-grabbing clothes was waving to him from a wagon. Joxer squinted for a moment, then groaned. Jace, his twin brother, made a movement and the caravan slowed down, stopping in front of Joxer. Jace stepped out of his wagon and embraced him, joy evident in his features. 'Oh great' Joxer thought.   
  


***

  
  
A shining ball, glowing purple, was floating in the center of the room. Ares was staring at it, reluctant. Cupid was looking nervous, and Aphrodite was just soo happy. "One more ingredient! Put it in put it in!" Ares scowled and fished out a diamond from the silk bag that he held in his hand. He closed his eyes and got ready to drop the jewel into the ball.   
  


***

  
  
"Can we go and see? Please? Please please pleaaaaaase?" Gabrielle begged Xena. She laughed. "Alright alright. Hold on." Xena grabbed Gabby's hand and aethered out into Dite's throne room (which is where they were of course). They watched the proceedings in interest.   
  


***

  
  
"WAIT!" Aphrodite squealed (what you think she'd yell? Yeah right!). I want my fave mortal and his family to witness this precious moment! Be back in a flash!" She left in a storm of pink hearts, off to get her "fave mortal and his family". Guess who it is.   
  


***

  
  
Xena tapped Ares on the shoulder, startling him. "Xe! What are you doing here?" Ares looked nervous, scared of being caught making THIS. "We came to watch. Aphrodite told me what you were doing." Ares paled and sputtered. His mind SLOWLY registered her sentence. "We?" Gabrielle peeped out from behind a statue, grinning. "Hi." Ares groaned. No way. He was seriously never gonna get away with this. Blondie was never gonna let up!   
  
  
  


To Be Continued


End file.
